A Collection of Original Poetry by Students of Ladysmith High School

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Malwazi Moholi ~ Rollercoaster Ride of Love

That's when someone you love
Leaves without a reson to leave you
Even after you stuck around with all the pain
He broke your heart into pieces
But the love is still there
"Forgive me?"
Were the words I said
After I did a whole lot of wrong
But it took forever to gain forgiveness
So, then I decided to give up
Like a flame burning bright
It will die...

© Malwazi Moholi



  1. You put this form to good use in this poem, Malwazi. The pivotal line: "Forgive me?" hits hard. Well done.

  2. Sometimes asking for forgiveness takes time to accept.. patience and more patience is required... I like the way you use that simple line as the core of the poem..

  3. Oh dear. This is very heartfelt and moving, and feels like your natural language despite the use of the form. Good luck!

  4. Oh - this makes me want to reach out and say "Do you forgive them?" Heart wrenching.

  5. Wisdom is knowing when to stay and when to go but asking forgiveness for wrongs is always a good idea and your central idea. Well done.

  6. You convey the emotions felt so well in this poem. I like the asking for forgiveness, then the letting go. Sometimes that is all one can do.

  7. Heartbroken. Yes. You seem to understand this feeling. And you convey your understanding in a most eloquent way.

  8. I can feel the sadness and heartbreak in your poem. Very effectively written. Great job!


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