A Collection of Original Poetry by Students of Ladysmith High School

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Malwazi Moholi ~ Rollercoaster Ride of Love



Heartbroken
That's when someone you love
Leaves without a reson to leave you
Even after you stuck around with all the pain
He broke your heart into pieces
But the love is still there
"Forgive me?"
Were the words I said
After I did a whole lot of wrong
But it took forever to gain forgiveness
So, then I decided to give up
Like a flame burning bright
It will die...



© Malwazi Moholi


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GRADE 8
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8 comments:

  1. You put this form to good use in this poem, Malwazi. The pivotal line: "Forgive me?" hits hard. Well done.

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  2. Sometimes asking for forgiveness takes time to accept.. patience and more patience is required... I like the way you use that simple line as the core of the poem..

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  3. Oh dear. This is very heartfelt and moving, and feels like your natural language despite the use of the form. Good luck!

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  4. Oh - this makes me want to reach out and say "Do you forgive them?" Heart wrenching.

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  5. Wisdom is knowing when to stay and when to go but asking forgiveness for wrongs is always a good idea and your central idea. Well done.

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  6. You convey the emotions felt so well in this poem. I like the asking for forgiveness, then the letting go. Sometimes that is all one can do.

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  7. Heartbroken. Yes. You seem to understand this feeling. And you convey your understanding in a most eloquent way.

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  8. I can feel the sadness and heartbreak in your poem. Very effectively written. Great job!

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