A Collection of Original Poetry by Students of Ladysmith High School

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Grace Smythe ~ Love's in the Wind

He
holds on,
hangs
on to
the soaring
wind so
tight.
He feels
it but can't
hold it firmly
in his arms.
It warms
his
sad soul.
His wife's love's
always
felt
in the breeze.


© Grace Smythe


***
GRADE 10
***

9 comments:

  1. The form you chose for this poem really creates the lightness of the breeze, and the tenuous hold we have on love. Very sad.

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  2. The way it subtly turn into sadness and loss at the end tells so much more in the flow where no word is unneeded...

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  3. Oh, so sad. The form works so well as it brings the reader slowly into the mystery of his holding on so tight. Lovely. k.

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  4. Perhaps sadness, but certainly it offers hope. It may not be always able to be held, but certainly it can always be felt. Beautiful.

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  5. your choice of this form and the image of hugging the wind works well to convey the sadness of trying to hold on to a lost love.

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  6. Very poignant, his wife's love being felt in the breeze as he tries to hold on.....

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  7. One of my day's favorites! Your word choice and placement create both flow and tension; and by using so few, you allow each word to fully contribute meaning.

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  8. The break between these two lines feels so right:
    "He feels
    it but can't."
    I can feel what he feels: the uncertainty, the detachment...

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  9. Lovely! This poem reads like a wind blowing gently. Very effective use of the form. Keep up the good work!

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