We met by chance,
a soulful coincidence.
Not a mistake but an opportunity
to begin a new experience.
We found ourselves making plans
to meet up and have fun.
But instead we'd be shy in the moment
and our mouths wouldn't run.
It would be an awkward silence
but not in a negative way.
As if our souls were connected and there
was nothing we needed to say.
We were together
All we needed
Was a start
And like the flying
Of a dart
I gave you
You took it and latched on
like a child holding their toy.
But with me you didn't play.
We were here to enjoy.
To enjoy our time together
and be the reason for each other's smiles.
And be the only ones to kiss each other's lips
When we were supposed to be sorting files.
Sneaking glances at school,
while reading Shakespeare.
And being content with each other.
And happiness became clear.
Conversations were blissful and
eye contact was a treasure.
And those moments alone with you
were a pleasure without measure.
I doubt things will change.
They will always be the same.
Me and you will always be
Examples of a winning love game.
We may sometimes not get along
But it's a fairly smooth ride.
You and I will always be
inevitably Soul Tied.
More than I can take
All things have a capacity
A point at which it is full.
All things have a maximum size
Like the horns of a bull.
My brewing pot of emotions
has a limit too.
And sadly at the current point
it's full because of you.
Emotions and feelings combined together
a deadly combination it makes.
If my feelings were a water body
it would be an enormous lake.
But sadly as I said before
You fill me to the brim.
My feelings flow through my body
through every limb.
By the feel of things
in this enormous lake
the feelings I have because of you
Are more than I can take.
"Rules are made to be broken"
Is how the common saying goes.
To rebels and thieves and liars like me
It's second nature like crowing to crows.
Although breaking a rule is foreign to you
You had the beginners luck.
I ate your words up and believed and believed and
slowly became emotionally stuck.
If rules are meant to be broken, then
what are rules really for ?
Realistic boundaries for us to break and
exceed expectations once more ?
If rules are meant to be broken, then
you took the next step.
You lied and deceived and broke your promises
Like a weightlifter doing a rep.
It became second nature to you and
lying became your truth.
It became your language, your immediate response.
But when I pointed it out , you'd call me uncouth.
I became so used to the lies that
I took everything in the opposite way.
"Oh you don't love me?" "You don't need me?"
"You won't kill yourself today."
I found out the hard way that
Without an intention of living, you slept.
That "I'll kill myself today" was true.
The one promise you actually kept.
What you didn't know
The night you took yourself
Took yourself away
It was too much for me
Too much too keep at bay
It was early in the year,
Sometime in May,
when you whispered in my ear,
"I'll go today".
I turned around to find you
But you were out of my sight.
I looked for you ,
the entire day and night.
With all my might
I wanted to keep you alive
Because suicide isn't right.
It wasn't your fate.
But by the time I found you
it was too late.
You took your life away
How could you?
I looked into your eyes
they were no longer blue.
I went up close to see if it was true.
But what you didn't know , that night you took your life,
You took mine too.
The bus that never came
We were waiting for our dreams
at the bus stop of our lives,
waiting for our wishes,
waiting for them to arrive.
My spirits lifted,
when I saw that first bus arrive
but my dreams had not come with it
and I struggled to keep them alive
I waited for you.
At that bus stop.
For you to step down with eyes glittery blue.
For me to say "I love you"
And you to say "I love you too"
But you didn't.
When the final bus arrived
it put out my flame.
You were on a bus,
but on The Bus that never came.
© Uwais Coetzee