I remember the time
when I had a purpose in life
when I loved to live and
lived to love.
You might be wondering (and so am I)
where that girl has gone.
She existed only because reality hadn't
kicked in yet
but here she is, four years later,
displaying a personality created by reality
where she is suicidal at night
but wears a mask at dawn.
She was drowning in tears
but nobody saw her struggle.
She made pain look so good
without realising that it wouldn't
be able to wear off.
Today, I look at this girl
and applaud her for carrying
a burden a 14 year old shouldn't have to bear.
She's stronger than ever but held back,
genuinely laughs but still fakes a smile.
© Phiwa Khoza