be alone...
I probably should have listened to them...
should've used my mind and not heart...
perhaps I could've saved myself the pain from
the start...
Maybe I went out of my own league without
realising it..
Maybe I should have given you only a fraction
and not the whole of my being...
Quite often we find ourselves fighting over the
same things..
Perhaps I allowed the roots of my insecurities to
dig deep into my head and poison my thoughts..
I gave you my heart but forgot that I also need it
for survival..
Maybe I got too attached...
Let my whole life be about pleasing you...
Overstepped every boundary ever set...
Raised my expectations higher than reality yet...
perhaps I brought the silent disappointments
upon myself thus counting them silently to
myself....
perhaps I'm just being selfish and only want
satisfaction for myself...
Try to piece together the fragments of my heart
that are left...
"Don't love too much",this cliché I've been often
told...
I should have listened before I had my heart
ripped and my soul sold...all to please you...
Despite it all I still yearn for you...
Even though you played my heart like a flute..
Doing things I know for me you would never
attempt..
But maybe l'm disillusioned and just want to be
left...
Perhaps I love the pain...
probably why I'll never leave you...
but imperfect as I am I'll stay loyal and true...
Mind revolving around the disappointments but
also the memories...
even at my highest I've never felt so lonely and
low...
perhaps I just need to be alone....
© Siyabonga Dlamini
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Matriculant 2016
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