Last Words ~ Malwazi Moholi

These are my last words written to YOU:

I'm sorry.
That you may have had problems
At home;
That you may have been betrayed
By those you love;
That you have trust issues;
That you keep your feelings inside;

I'm sorry.
That I may have loved
You;
That I may have hurt
You;
That I keep holding you back;
That life doesn't go as you
Hoped;
That things change.

I'm sorry that you sometimes cry
Without saying a word;
I'm sorry that I'm not always there.

I'm sorry that I no longer will
Be part of your life.

I'm sorry that you won't ever read this;
That you won't care
But I hoped you see the person that
I once saw.
A person who deserves complete love.
I hope she never makes you cry;
That she holds you;
That she's always there;

I'm sorry that I no longer will be
Part
Of
Your
Life.


©  Malwazi Moholi

***
Grade 11
***

The Love I Gave Away ~ Malwazi Moholi

I gave away a part of me
That I wanted to look at but also didn't want
To keep.

I was here, I walked on this
Grand soil
I loved, I got hurt and got my
Heart shattered.
I hurt, and took a blade
Against my flesh and
Watched the red fade and
Dissolve into water.
I lived, and I enjoyed
Every waking moment of
My bright brown eyes.
All of this I once had
Before the darkness consumed
My soul.
I loved.
I walked.
I got hurt.
I lived...

But I looked into her ocean blue eyes
And knew...

I knew it was her,
She was the one
Whom I gave   the only reason
That kept me breathing, loving and hurting.

I gave away a part of me
And it stopped beating in the process.


© Malwazi Moholi

***
Grade 11
***

Perhaps ~ Siyabonga Dlamini

Perhaps I don't love you but just didn't want to
be alone...
I probably should have listened to them...
should've used my mind and not heart...
perhaps I could've saved myself the pain from
the start...
Maybe I went out of my own league without
realising it..
Maybe I should have given you only a fraction
and not the whole of my being...
Quite often we find ourselves fighting over the
same things..
Perhaps I allowed the roots of my insecurities to
dig deep into my head and poison my thoughts..
I gave you my heart but forgot that I also need it
for survival..
Maybe I got too attached...
Let my whole life be about pleasing you...
Overstepped every boundary ever set...
Raised my expectations higher than reality yet...
perhaps I brought the silent disappointments
upon myself thus counting them silently to
myself....
perhaps I'm just being selfish and only want
satisfaction for myself...
Try to piece together the fragments of my heart
that are left...
"Don't love too much",this cliché I've been often
told...
I should have listened before I had my heart
ripped and my soul sold...all to please you...
Despite it all I still yearn for you...
Even though you played my heart like a flute..
Doing things I know for me you would never
attempt..
But maybe l'm disillusioned and just want to be
left...
Perhaps I love the pain...
probably why I'll never leave you...
but imperfect as I am I'll stay loyal and true...
Mind revolving around the disappointments but
also the memories...
even at my highest I've never felt so lonely and
low...
perhaps I just need to be alone....

©  Siyabonga Dlamini

***

Matriculant 2016

***

Beautiful Creatures ~ Malwazi Moholi

Beautiful creatures
Roaming the earth
Some blue eyed
Some green eyed
But
Mine is brown eyed
My muse
My reason for writing

Although It may hurt me
I still obsess.
It carries me above the clouds
Knows my most deepest thoughts
It can fly.

My beautiful creature has
Brown, curled hair,
Broad shoulders.
My beautiful creature
Cuddles,
Loves although hides,
Funny...

my Beautiful Creature
Is not Mine.
He Let me Go.
He let me fall to my death
Onto the cracked Earth,

In order to Catch another...


©  Malwazi Moholi

***
Grade 11
***

Untitled ~ Siyabinga Dlamini

The distance divides our souls but not hearts..
Hard doubts cloud my judgement and focus..
Only you can save me...


© Siyabonga Dlamini

***
Matriculant 2016
***